OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m.
Greetings from the Wisconsin Northwoods!
My husband, our dog and I are on our annual pilgrimage up north to see the in-laws. And after I clock out today, we’re headed to the Minnesota North Shore for some hiking, sightseeing and general Lake Superior viewing.
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Thank God that wildfire smoke cleared.
When I checked the Air Quality Index (AQI) — something I had never even remotely considered before this weekend, by the way — the area we’re going to visit in Minnesota had something like a 600. Anything above 100 is considered unhealthy, I learned.
And knowing my Airbnb reservation was non-refundable, I was getting pretty nervous.
Fortunately, it looks like we’re in the clear. Unless more fires start, of course. But let’s hope that doesn’t happen. For everyone’s sake.
Grab yourself an ice cold Spotted Cow (if you know, you know) and settle in. It’s Nightcaps time.
Whenever a sports season ends, there’s this ongoing tradition where we all debate whether that sport’s resident old guy is going to retire. Aaron Rodgers, LeBron James, and now… Lionel Messi.
Of course, he would have loved to go out with a second-consecutive World Cup win, but that’s not how the cookie crumbled.
Messi shared a message on his official Instagram account before Argentina lost to Spain in the final, thanking his teammates, coaches and staff.
FIFA LAUNCHES INVESTIGATION INTO BRAWL AFTER SPAIN DEFEATED ARGENTINA IN WORLD CUP FINAL
“The best thing about all these years has never been just the titles, but the whole journey. Sharing every day with this group, competing together, getting back up in difficult moments, and enjoying every step,” Messi wrote.
“Thanks to each of my teammates, the technical staff and all the people who work every day to keep this National Team a family.”
Ooh, cryptic! Does that mean this is his last World Cup? Will he suit up at the ripe young age of 43 in 2030?
I don’t know. He didn’t tell me.
But on Monday, Messi’s wife, model Antonela Roccuzzo, shared a post that also sounded pretty final.
Allow me to translate for you: “You’ll always be the best,” Roccuzzo wrote. “Not only because of your talent, but because you never stopped being yourself. Because no matter what happens, you never give up, you always fight to the end, and you give your all until the very last second.”
She continued, “That strength, that mindset, and that way of getting back up time and time again are what make you unique.”
In an interview earlier this year, Messi said: “I love playing football, and I’m going to do it until I can’t anymore.”
But you know how that worked out for Tom Brady’s marriage. Maybe just don’t let Antonela take any jiu-jitsu classes, just to be safe.
Check out these morons at Yellowstone
Three guarantees: death, taxes and wacky stuff going down in Yellowstone National Park.
Last week, we watched a grandpa (who was minding his own business) get launched several feet into the air by an angry bison.
Shoutout to the park, by the way, for sending out the warning a few days too late.
Anyway, that guy wasn’t at fault. He was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Unfortunately, though, we do see a lot of dumbf—ery on the part of humans in our National Parks.
In the latest edition, check out these two tourists who decided to hop off the boardwalk and take a stroll across the Grand Prismatic.
In case you don’t know, the Grand Prismatic is the largest hot spring in the United States and the third largest in the world. It spans roughly 370 feet in diameter and reaches depths of over 121 feet.
And as the name “hot springs” suggests, it’s HOT. Scalding hot. Last year, a bison tragically boiled to death after stumbling into one of Yellowstone’s hot springs.
I feel bad for the bison. I wouldn’t feel bad for these two.
Any of y’all ever do a HYROX? It’s sort of like CrossFit except every competition has the exact same events/exercises.
One of my good friends from high school wants me to do the one in Nashville with her this winter. And considering I talked her into a 20-mile hike last year, I guess I owe it to her.
I suppose I should start training for it sometime soon. If, that is, we can even get tickets. Apparently there’s a long line of people signing up to torture themselves in these HYROX races, so it’s tough to get in.
I tend to say yes to physical challenges without truly thinking through what the training will entail. This is how I’ve been roped into multiple half marathons, bodybuilding competitions, a Ragnar Race, a couple Mammoth Marches and an OUTLAST trail race.
But if there’s one endurance challenge I won’t be partaking in, it’s the ‘5 Guys Challenge.’
No, it has nothing to do with the burger chain and it’s not the latest stunt by Bonnie Blue.
The 5 Guys Challenge — which, best I can tell, was created by guy on TikTok named @lukaslogss and his buddies — requires five fellas to collectively complete the following tasks: drink 5 gallons of milk, do 5,000 push-ups, throw 500 high fives, catch 5 fish, run a cumulative 50 kilometers, hit 500 3-pointers on the court and complete 5 video games.
Now my video game days ended with Mario Kart on N64, so what do I know? But completing an entire video game takes a REALLY long time, yes? I don’t even think Mario can rescue Princess Peach on Super Nintendo in 24 hours.
Especially if he has to drink a gallon of milk, go fishing, run a 10K and do 1,000 pushups.
Absolute animals.
Let’s open the mailbag.
📩 Email: amber.harding@outkick.com (Send your thoughts, stories, tips, rants and photos of your dog.)
🐦 Twitter/X: @TheAmberHarding
📸 Instagram: @amberharding
The USC Trojans continue to know nothing about the Trojans
Over the weekend, I wrote about USC Football’s incredibly dumb Odyssey-themed hype post. They’re obviously trying to capitalize on the popularity of Christopher Nolan’s new movie — the one that follows Odysseus’ 10-year journey home following the Trojan War.
The problem, of course, is that the Trojans lost the Trojan War. Spectacularly.
And this isn’t even the first time the USC athletic department has gotten its ancient Greek literature confused. A couple of years ago they did a Trojan-Horse-themed hype video.
The Trojan Horse was not a good thing for the Trojans, either, FYI.
Richard M. writes: As an ancient history major, I really appreciated your column. As an Oregon Duck fan, I really appreciated your column.
One additional point about the Spartans, if I may. Sparta was not just part of the Greek army. The King of Sparta (Menelaus) was actually the one married to Helen when Paris came along and swiped her.
Gene in the Rock has a recommendation for the ‘best dog ball ever’
We stumbled upon this ball at the dog park, and I’m quite sure whoever left it behind was missing it because it was gone the next day. I don’t blame them, I would have gone back to retrieve it too. You don’t normally think of sophisticated mechanical and materials engineering in the same sentence with a dog toy, but this ball had both.
The size of a tennis ball but the heft of a baseball for good distance, with outside grooves and a hollow center which make it bounce funny and not true. Obviously a material as dense as tire rubber, but so squishy that it’s an irresistible chew toy. It’s also apparently indestructible, because Lexi has been chomping hers as an all-day chewie for the better part of three weeks and the ball hasn’t even noticed. She’s got sharp adolescent teeth and loves to chomp, and we’re used to her destroying even high quality Kong toys. This ball — except for some surface abrasion, it looks like it could have come straight from the package. In a word, if your k9bff is a ball chaser, this is the ball that has everything. I dunno if that’s Rocky, but I’m sure the shoe fits plenty of your readers.
Took me a minute to track it down, all I knew from the ball itself was it came from an outfit called Chuckit. I was expecting it to be some specialty piece from Chewy for $27 a ball, but turns out they’re 2 for $8 at Walmart. It’s called a Rebounce, because it also turns out it’s made from recycled materials. Yah, recycled into indestructibility. Oh, those engineers!
Amber:
As a ball enthusiast, my German Shepherd Rocky has many varieties — including an orange and blue Chuckit ball. But with a review like this, I guess I’ll have to throw a Rebounce in my Amazon cart.
Leaping sheep dogs are a thing to behold
Drew in Katy, Texas, writes: I’ve seen some amazing moments of deer gracefully leaping fences. I’ve seen the dogs jump into the pools in competition. I never knew that there were dogs that leap like these.
I have no idea what breed this is. You sure don’t have to get out and open agate for them to let them through a fence.
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Happy 6th birthday, Gus!
Chris L. writes: You did a little note awhile back about my dog Gus who is battling cancer. Back in October, we were told he had about 3-6 months even after the amputation and chemo. Well today the big guy celebrated his 6th birthday with a trip to the store to pick out a new toy. Here he is happily carrying his choice out of the store!
Amber:
Go Gus! Keep on fighting, buddy.
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